Potato Head holds his wife to his chest so she doesn’t… WHAT THE HELL PIXAR. You love crying when the toys are headed for the incinerator and they finally realize that they’re not going to be able to cleverly hop out of this problem and they all look resigned and brave and hold each others’ hands as they accept their fate, and Mr. You love crying when they accidentally get thrown away. You love crying when Andy plays with his toys with that little girl, or when Woody watches him walk away and looks okay about it. But it’s okay - you have magic in your soul. You might have taken the whole “never growing up” thing to heart, and may have a hard time paying rent on time these days. However, no amount of racial stereotyping could ever erase the magic you felt when those little kids went flying around the room in circles. Also, you may, in retrospect, be offended by the bright red Native Americans. Peter Pan: You love imagination, hopes, dreams, and charming British children. Song of the South: LOL, you’re so, so racist. I assume you’re the kind of person who puts romantic song lyrics in your statuses and likes pictures of children in wedding outfits kissing. I don’t know what you like if you like her - sleeping in late, being really pretty, and nailing the most boring Prince? I guess? In any case, you’re not doing a whole lot until some guy comes along and validates the hell out of you. Sleeping Beauty: I don’t know, I think we can all agree that Aurora (Had to Google that, does anyone really remember that girl’s name?) is by far the lamest Disney Princess. You probably even enjoyed that incredibly lackluster reboot with Johnny Depp. The Mad Hatter came to represent so many things that your parents just didn’t understand, the Cheshire Cat had the smile that stayed with you long after the rest of him faded away, and that rabbit was just so avant-garde with his pocket watch.
#Why is shia labeaouf doing all my movies manual#
But hey, after so many years of underpaid manual labor (in your case, working at Starbucks, most likely) you’re totally ready for someone who’ll offer you a bit of romance and escapism.įantasia: Let’s be honest - you get completely, incomprehensibly stoned and watch the hell out of some Fantasia.Īlice In Wonderland: This crazy, kooky, totally un-mainstream, slightly dark Disney film would kick-start your lifelong love affair with all things Hot Topic, My Chemical Romance, and dressing like Alice herself. You are also totally down to date a guy who is in no way right for you, but who chance brought you to in too romantic a way to get over. Pocahontas just got it.Ĭinderella: It would be a safe bet that you probably have a thing for shoes and - if you took any serious life lessons away from the film - you truly believe that all ugly people are inherently evil. Pocahontas taught you all that being strong, proud, and true to yourself means - all while showing a more-than-decent amount of thigh and rebelling against your totally obtuse father. Pocahontas: Perhaps the first film that opened your eyes and taught you to hate oppression and ignorance in all its forms, Pocahontas launched you into a lifelong career of being into nature, teaching doe-eyed white men what it means to respect others, and absolutely hating when hipsters wear Native American stuff. So put on your Tinkerbell costume (you know you still have it), get out your stuffed Boo doll, and settle in for a little trip down One Day My Prince Will Come Lane. And your Disney film of choice says more than just what VHS was worn to tatters from merciless overuse when you were eight it says which 1 hour and 30 minutes contained your tiny little dreams. Watching these movies as kids, and even as adults, we are transported into worlds where things are beautiful, where people are nice, and where even the most tense of situations will neatly wrap up with a cute, happy ending. Whether you are a disciple of all things Pixar, or you cling to the idea that 2D, hand-drawn work will come back in style with so much Luddite desperation, there’s no denying that Disney, in so many ways, shaped who we are today.
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